Grief can catch us in surprising ways. When someone dies, our reaction may be gentle and accepting — or it may be unexpectedly unsettling. Our relationship with the person who has died may come up for reconsideration in uncomfortable ways. Old family concerns can arise, for example. Siblings may have had quite different experiences and argue about how the family story gets told. We may need to grapple with who this person really was, including the difficult parts of them. Counselling is a safe and neutral place to explore loss and find a story that makes sense.